This morning I had, for me, a big Aha moment. As I was beginning my meditation, I suddenly realized that every time I try to meditate I automatically assume the posture of my Christian upbringing: head bowed, shoulders rounded, the unworthy penitent begging for the gifts that, I realized, are already mine: Love, compassion, harmony, the Healing Presence, kindness, being a blessing in the world, being a fair witness.
I had not written anything in probably at least two years, but this morning I got out my notebook and wrote. It isn't beautiful or poetic but it is what I needed to write.
Before: The penitent, body hunched over, the knowledge of personal unworthiness, being not good enough, every "wrong" thought or action making the angels cry, " crucifying the Son of God afresh".
Kneeling on the cold floor asking for forgiveness for sins too numerous to remember them all, and, always the bowed head, the hunched shoulders acknowledging unworthiness, being less than others, being less than I should be.
Now: Sitting up straight, head erect, shoulders back, breathing freely, loosening from attachment, making no comparisons, no judgements, practicing love and compassion for myself and others, I sit and meditate. I rejoice in my blessings too numerous to count. I rejoice in my oneness with all things. I am at peace and filled with joy in the knowledge and understanding that I am.
© Mary Jo Lang 2016